Pater

Pater

Gone, like a thief in the night.
Missing, when I woke up in the light.
Abandoned, I was left from your mistake.
You give yourself a title, you’re completely fake.
I count what you’ve caused, and didn’t hesitate to pause,
Before seeing the otherworldly emptiness you’ve given me,
Without your already existing flaws.
Your name burns every fiber of my existence into passion of pain,
From destroying me, what have you to gain?
Because of you I must not trust,
And because of you, I’m forced to lust for someone to fulfill your place.
Oh! How badly out of others, I’ve longed to see your face.
Although this act gives forth no grace, I’ve done nothing but chase where you’ve been.
And day after day, brings night after night, I perform as if all is right,
Even if I’m crashing inside, daring to die, I might.
You are not to return, and as I walk through this painted nocturne,
It turns into a nightmare, and when the nightmare turned to flesh,
My mind hid in fantasy, imagining a million ways for you, a heathenous man to be expressed.
At the tree of fury, frustration, defeat, and anguish,
You stand at the root, and like always, ready to vanquish.
As you vanquish from me similar to before,
You never dream of me, leaving my spirit poor.
And as I beg, and wish you were here,
I know if I saw you, I’d be enveloped in agonizing fear.
You must be real, I convince myself so,
But if you were true of being Pater to me, you wouldn’t have let me go.